Your Father and your Mother

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.”

Exodus 20:12 NKJV

The first four commandments are part of the first tablet and govern our relationship with God—our upward orientation. From the fifth commandment onward, the so-called horizontal relationship begins—that is, our relationship with our neighbor. At first glance, this commandment belongs to this second group, but it is also linked to the first, since the honor due to father and mother is essentially a reflection of that due to God. To place the passage in a historical context, one must take into account the social organization of the people of Israel. Within this organizational framework, the father and mother represented the household, the family, and also the clan of reference. Viewed from this angle, the commandment could be a means of safeguarding not only the entire people of Israel but also the preservation of property. Each family, in fact, was entrusted with a portion of the Promised Land, which was passed down from parents to children. In those days, it was essential to defend the territory. Furthermore, the family was also the primary institution for administering justice, the main point of reference. Commentators, from this perspective, believe that honoring one’s father and mother could represent an indication of respect for the organizational structure of the people of Israel.

In a first lexical analysis, the expression “honor your father and your mother” is translated in the Nuova Diodati version with the verb in the future tense, namely “you shall honor.” This future perspective is linked to the promise of the commandment: “so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” The fifth commandment is known as the only one accompanied by a promise, and it is the one that opens the section on relationships with one’s neighbor. It is natural to wonder who our closest neighbor is, or rather, the person whom every individual, upon coming into the world, sees first. Generally, the first person a child comes into contact with is the mother, and the reference points for every child’s upbringing are the father and the mother. The first neighbors of every human being, therefore, are the parents, and the second table begins precisely with them. Unlike the previous commandment, which pertains to the festival to be observed and in which neither the wife nor the mother was mentioned, the mother appears here. Women are excluded from the festivals, but as mothers they are deemed worthy of receiving honor. One is usually led to think that honoring one’s parents means obeying them, but this is not the meaning. It is not obedience that is required, since the verb used is “honor,” first and foremost gratitude for the good received. And if there were no reason for gratitude due to a lack of care, the gift of life remains.

In today’s reality, the concept of social assistance is strongly felt. The same cannot be said for the social context of the people of Israel, in which such a need was entirely absent. Consequently, those who, as they grew old, could no longer provide for themselves with their own hands risked being left to fend for themselves and cast aside. God’s law, on the contrary, is a law of love, and one’s neighbor is the first to be loved! Since our parents are our first neighbors, honoring them is realized precisely through the necessary care when they find themselves in a state of need. Life is cyclical; whoever is a child today will find themselves a father or mother tomorrow. The question could be rephrased this way: Who is a child today, and why are they called to honor? For some scholars, importance must be given to parents because they are the ones who gave us life; whether we like it or not, the child’s life came from them. There is a form of cooperation with the Creator; there is a transfer of the gift of life. Therefore, honor consists in recognizing that the life we have the grace to live and minister came from a father and a mother. Without them, there would be no life of our own. The recognition of their cooperation with the divine is manifested through honor.

(continued next week)

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Weekly Bible Reading Plan #16

April 13, 1 Samuel 22–24; Luke 12:1–31

April 14, 1 Samuel 25–26; Luke 12:32–59

April 15, 1 Samuel 27–29; Luke 13:1–22

April 16, 1 Samuel 30–31; Luke 13:23–35

April 17, 2 Samuel 1–2; Luke 14:1–24

April 18, 2 Samuel 3–5; Luke 14:25–35

April 19, 2 Samuel 6–8; Luke 15:1–10