Your Father and Your Mother (p. 3)

"And He stretched out His hand toward His disciples and said, “Here are My mother and My brothers! For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother.”

Matthew 12:49-50 NKJV

Each of us is bound to the span of our own lived experience and cannot know the history that lies beyond it. We exist within history for the time we live, and we know only what is closest to us. The immediate past, pertaining to the lives of our parents, is a mirror of something we have not experienced but which they can pass on to us. This means that we should view those who are older as people to whom we must direct not only care and assistance, but also as individuals who deserve to be honored for the lives they have lived, for the history they have made, and for the lessons they have passed on to us. Therefore, honor is due to them, not only for the life they gave us but, along with this, also for the wealth of knowledge, experience, training, education, and so many other beautiful things they have passed on to us. It is not uncommon in pastoral care to encounter believers who struggle to honor their parents, whether due to violence, wrongs, or abuse they have suffered. From this perspective, the Decalogue seems lacking. The Law appears to protect parents but does not consider the children, the minors. At that time and in that culture, the child was not held in high regard, just as the slave was not.

In the New Testament, Jesus repeatedly taught His people about the importance that children hold in God’s sight. He rebuked the disciples who were trying to prevent the children from coming to Him, giving us an invitation now known to all: “Let the little children come to me” (Matthew 19:14). Jesus is the fulfillment of the Law; He came to fulfill it. Regarding honoring father and mother, the Gospels offer us two episodes. One is the passage in the heading, in which Jesus, while teaching, was told by someone that His mother and His brothers were waiting outside. His response might lead one to think that He had nullified the commandment… far from it! In Christianity, the concept of neighbor does not refer only to relatives or family members, but also to all those who are part of the family, all those who do the Father’s will. “Those close to him” or “those of his household” (depending on the translation, 1 Timothy 5:8), in other words, those whom the Lord has called to be part of His family. Jesus did not say to abandon father and mother but, in their defense, had to counter the religious teaching of many who taught that for the sake of faith one must also abandon them. The law of the time allowed a wealthy person to donate their inheritance to the temple, neglecting to provide for parents who were in need. Jesus condemned this practice, because one cannot give to God while forgetting one’s neighbor. Jesus Himself summarized the Ten Commandments in “Love the Lord your God … and love your neighbor as yourself” (Luke 10:27).

Scripture draws our attention to the concept of our neighbor—not as someone far from us, but as someone present and close. To honor means to offer our presence to that neighbor, showing that we are there, both in times of need and when there is no need. This is what honor means: if you need me, I am there. Consequently, the fault to avoid is absence. Deplorable is the attitude of a child who treats their parents as if they were dead when in fact they are not. Such an attitude, moreover, shortens our life, for Scripture says that “the wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23).  May our presence be actively demonstrated with such honor, remembering that the honor given to our parents is the honor of God’s glory, that is, the honor of the kabod of the Old Testament. If we have had positive and happy experiences, we have lived them with our parents, but if we have had sad experiences with them, we are called to love them anyway, because they are still the ones who gave us life—the very life that allows us to share the Scriptures, to love God, our neighbor, and to pass on to others what the Word has placed in our hearts.

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Weekly Reading Plan Bible #18

April 27, 1 Kings 1–2; Luke 19:28–48

April 28, 1 Kings 3–5; Luke 20:1–26

April 29, 1 Kings 6–7; Luke 20:27–47

April 30, 1 Kings 8–9; Luke 21:1–19

May 1, 1 Kings 10–11; Luke 21:20–38

May 2, 1 Kings 12–13; Luke 22:1–30

May 3, 1 Kings 14–15; Luke 22:31–46